Perched on my balcony today and got a call. “Maám, your HDFC card is near to expiry date, and you need a to Renew it” I told him a “Yes, your services have been too good, and I would like to go for the Renewal“, and he was happy to do all the formalities and take care of things for me and then he asked me to fill the KYC form. A KYC form, a Know Your Customer form. They wanted to know me better, my necessities and prerequisites, my limits and my usage. I ended the call with an appointment to see him the following day.
I sat with the form he has left me to fill my eyes fixed on the word Renewal. You know what I was thinking? I was thinking that we have become so empirical and pragmatic in all walks of life that we can relinquish relations and people without any struggle to hold on owning to our false ego and fake pride, but we are not ready to let go a Credit Card Subscription.
Whenever I see, lovers have a tiff and then reconcile it feels like they just renewed their bonding. Like updating their rendezvous from silver credit card to golden and then platinum and then platinum plus. Like they are putting all the love and affection and fondness in a joint recurring account, withdrawing from it at the time of need, when they quarrel. Being a calculative person, it is my habit to see things in numbers and percentages. When my mother is unwell, I keep asking her to tell me the level of severity of the sickness in percentages to understand how much better or worse she got. It sorts many things for me to see this whole world in terms of one big bank and me the account holder. Keeping a log in mind as to what was credited and what was debited. What interest I paid, did I gain anything in the transaction? Maybe a single smile or one moment of feeling loved.
How nice it would be if relations had a Renewal facility as well so that we can just fill the KYC form and dive back into them. I have lost some splendid connections just cause I was not able to race with the world around me. I was never one to fit in nice and proper but struggled to maintain few close people close to me by investing my time and sentiments in them. I felt one day I will reap the benefits of never ending companionship and love. But the bitter truth is they all had an expiry date to themselves. And it doesn’t matter how many applications I put in for renewal, they weren’t responsive.
Come to think of it I was never the customer, I was always the service provider. Always giving, providing my services with no exception. I had only one fee, some understanding in return which was denied to me time and again. I wasn’t ready to let go of them easily, so I did the Know Your Customer thing too. I tried to know them better, and tailor cut myself to suit their needs. Trying to please each one and give them all that they were expecting from me.
After so much contemplation the conclusion I drew was that investing money is more beneficial than investing feelings and banks pay you back more sincerely and long-lasting than your own kith and kin. These are weird times we live in, nothing comes with a guarantee, the only one person we can depend on and be sure that it will be with us is the unparalleled Me, Moi and Myself.
Love is always bestowed as a gift —
freely, willingly, and without expectation….
We don’t love to be loved; we love to love. –Leo Buscaglia