Quill & Parchment

Today I came to know something invaluable about Love. I will tell you about it, but I know it won’t be useful to you. You can’t imbibe it from my article or by anyone’s teachings. You can only experience on your own. I am a writer, and my pen is asking for my attention, my ink wants me to pen down my experience.

I use to believe that to love meant to hold on, Clasping tight, Stinging, wrenching, agonising. Holding that fear, Holding ambiguity, Holding hurt, Holding passion, Maintaining an image, an illusion, a facade, beauty, perfection, Holding it all together. It needed a whole lot of glue, all that holding. It could break apart and disintegrate at any time, under all that intense pressure. In my journey of finding love, I learned that love requires a whole bunch of letting go…

Love is what’s left after the lover is long gone. Yes……I am right.

Don’t assume that I am telling you that the hurt and pain of losing a lover is love, No. To feel love for a person after he is gone, when with him are gone all expectations, and all possessiveness, gone are all hatred, anger, jealousy, violence, gone is that aching to be with them, gone is that longing to hear their voice and that need to touch and feel them, when the desires and the lusts dissipate, and the illusions, attachment and ego drops, when pretences fall, dependence disappears and all the worldly bondages break free……..then what you are left with is something pure and unadulterated.

When that acceptance of your being dawns on you, that you are complete, and that you are love, love is in you, you are free from all the pain and your soul flies, you get wings, and you are light as a feather. That is when you soar higher and see the world below from the bird’s view. And the bigger picture is seen, and everything falls into place, like a huge jigsaw puzzle finally falling into place. Then look around you, love is flying with you, it isn’s something you can keep caged, it is meant to be free. It needs nothing. Need makes us manipulate, exploit and control. And that is not loving; it is fear. Love will never thrive on fear; it will die a slow and painful death.

Free your love, open those locks. I know it is easier said than done. Free love from the care of future, don’t create that bondage around the feet of love, it is strong enough to break all chains, it is frail enough to break withing those chains. In both cases, you will lose it.

You have the key. The master key. The skeleton key. That river is meant to flow, that water has to pass, it is set to meet the sea. Do you want to retain it? You will make dams, and use the water, mind it you will use the still water, but you loved the river that flowed, you have changed its state by controlling it for your selfish reasons. It is not the living-breathing river you fell in love with, and someday it will break those walls, and there will be a flood that will drown everything with nothing left behind but devastation. Your banks will be the first to take its wrath. So better open those gates now, let it flow, see it winding down and flow by, making your banks lush and fertile.

Someone today told me:

Love is like loose sand. The more you wanna hold onto it, the tighter you close your fist around it, the quicker it slips from between your fingers, without you even knowing that you are holding onto nothing but a myth. And one day when you open the fist, you are left with just some sand that has stuck to your palm, and you dust it off, yet, some won’t go, it will be there, and that…..my friend is love. That what remains after you have given up on everything and let go, Is Love.

Love does not weaken, if anything, it makes us strong. It’s like the Sword of Gryffindor, imbibing anything that strengthens it. This love isn’t any love; it’s every kind of love. Love for parents, love for a partner, love for kids, love for friends, love for the teacher, love for humankind, love for nature, love for self. Love more. Love often. Love freely. Love many. Love all. Love yourself. Love

Liberate In Love, Rise in Love……..

Kuchh nahi, kuchh nahi tha, kuchh bhi to nahi tha
Yaad thi, pyaas thi, aur kuchh nahi tha
Ehsaas tha bas, thoda sa hi, aur kuchh nahi tha
Tum to sab kuchh ho mere, wo kuchh nahi tha
Ilzaam tha, meetha sa bahaana tha, aur kuchh nahi tha
Baatein thi, mulakaatein thi, aur kuchh nahi tha
Dil behelta tha mera, hans leti thi main bhi, aur kuchh nahi tha
Ek baar bheegi baarish ki raat mein mila tha, baaki kuchh nahi tha
Kuchh raatein thi, kuchh adhuri shaamein, aur kuchh nahi tha
Uska ek khat tha mere paas, usme ek gulaab tha, aur kuchh nahi tha
Aankhon par ek saaya tha, aansoon ban gaya, aur kuchh nahi tha
Kabhi yaad aa jaata tha, to muskura deti hoon, aur kuchh nahi tha
Uske hone na hone se nahi, nahi padta koi fark, wo kuchh nahi tha
Tum mujhse ye na poochhna ki kya sach mein, kuchh nahi tha ?
Yahi maan lo na tum bhi, ki bass khwaab tha, aur kuchh nahi tha

1. If you could buy any food (right now) what would you buy?

Ans A Burger

2. What colour is your toothbrush?

Ans Blue and white, it’s electric toothbrush by Oral-B

3. If you could be any animal what would it be and why?

And I would be an elephant. I just love the fact that being the humble giants they are, they are vegetarian, highly intelligent and they love their babies.

4. What is one of the things you would put on your “bucket” list?

And To kiss someone on Eiffel Tower

5. Who is your favourite superhero and why?

Ans Dare Devil. I like the fact that he possesses no such powers and he is profoundly flawed. Plus, I….kinda….love Ben Affleck. Here I said it. 😋

6. Who do you admire the most?

Ans Men who respect women highly. My father.

7. What is your favourite summer activity?

Ans Eating Ice Lolly and Mangoes

8. If a movie was made of your life what genre would it be, who would play you?

Ans It would be a drama, a class film about a girl’s evolution from a caterpillar to a butterfly. The woman who plays me can be…….Rachel McAdams or Scarlett Johansson(a few yrs ago it would be Michelle Pfeiffer or Jennifer Lopez)

9. If you could be any flavour of ice cream what ice cream flavour would you be and why? Ans Coffee or Caramel. I love these two tastes.

10. Who is your favourite cartoon character and why?

Ans Pooh Bear, he’s got great friends including Piglet.

11. If you could go anywhere in the world where would you go and why?

Ans Amazon Jungles, I wanna live with nature a while, just nature and me.

12. What is your dream job?

Ans To be a jewellery designer

13. Are you a morning or a night person?

Ans Night Person, definitely

14. What is your favourite hobby?

And Dance

15. What is one thing that annoys you the most?

Ans Noise and bad odour

16. What is the strangest thing you’ve ever eaten?

Ans Mango Sheen

17. What is your favourite thing about someone in your family?

Ans It’s my mum’s childlike nature

18. What is one of your weird quirks?

Ans Nail biting, foot too

19. Describe yourself in 3 words.

Ans Classy, Day Dreamer, Empathetic

20. If you could trade lives with anyone for a day who would it be and why?

Ans With GRR Martin. I wanna know all his trade secrets; it would help me finish my books.

21. If you could talk in your sleep what would you say?

Ans Don’t leave me alone, please.

22. What is the first thing you do when you get up in the morning?

Ans I check my Whatsapp

23. What is your favourite movie quote?

Ans Norman Bates(psycho): “It’s not like my mother is a maniac or a raving thing. She just goes a little mad sometimes. We all go a little mad sometimes. Haven’t you?”

24. What is your favourite joke?

Ans I enjoy all jokes about the pearly gates, they have a very satirical touch to them.

25. What would you do on Mars for fun?

Ans To has fun I need friends. I would love to make friends with Martians first. Then they can just show me around. Have a Mars bar on Mars sounds good too.

26. If you could get yourself anything, what would you get?

Ans A Yellow Lamborghini

27. Where is the worst place you could get stuck?

Ans In a cave or….a lift.

28. What would you do with your “15 minutes” of fame?

Ans I would try to let people know that war and hatred solve nothing, humankind needs to evolve, it’s time.

29. Where would you go if you were invisible?

Ans Go to J.K.Rowling’s and observe her like literally live with her and see how she works.

30. What is your favourite flavour of “Berty Bots every flavoured bean”.

Ans Lemon & Grass

31. What is the one thing you own you wish you didn’t?

Ans A treadmill

32. Describe the perfect kiss in 3 words.

Ans Eyes. Lips. Toes…

33. What is your biggest addiction?

Ans Internet, Facebook

34. Do you have a song that reminds you of a relationship if so what song?

Ans Yes, Abhi na jao chhor ke & Aaja Piya tohe pyaar doon. Closer by Chainsmokers.

35. How many books have you read so far this year?

Ans Zero, one is half read

36. When I dance, I look like…?

And A Hummingbird

37. Who have you met that you wish you hadn’t?

Ans A man on Facebook. He is evil. And not even that cool calculated kinda evil. He is zombie evil. Troll type, you get me?

38. If you were famous what would you be famous for?

Ans Writing or dance

39. What is the worst job you could have?

Ans Doctors

40. What is your favourite T.V. channel?

Ans Right now it’s WB & Star Movies Select

41. What is the thing your most afraid of?

Ans Lizard family, reptiles.

42. If you could paint anything what would you paint?

Ans Lillies and swans

43. What celebrity annoys you the most?

Ans Sanjay Dutt and George Clooney

44. What is the most intriguing thing you have in your purse/wallet?

Ans My pen drive

45. What is the meanest thing you’ve ever said to someone?

Ans That I hope you die painfully

46. If you could get a yacht what would you call it?

Ans Phoenix

47. What is your life long dream?

Ans To be a writer and to travel the world

48. If you could talk to the President what would you talk about?

Ans Increasing population issues, that, of course, leads to global warming which in turn leads to all apocalyptic catastrophe.

49. Have you ever tried to do something you know you would be terrible at, what was it?

Ans Ummmm, paperwork and being a party animal

50. On a scale of 1 to 10 how “cool” are you?

Ans 6-7

51. What is the best advantage to being tall?

Ans You look fabulous, and all dresses are an inch too short

52. How long does it take you to get ready in the morning?

Ans An hour

53. What is the one thing you have always wanted to do?

Ans Skating and skiing

54. What TV sitcom family would you be a member of?

Ans Friends and Full House

55. What store do you shop at the most?

Ans Big basket

56. What will new technology transform the future?

Ans Chips will be used for everything, not the Lays one, microchip

57. What is supply in your house running low?

Ans Gas Cylinder

58. If you could be any nationality what would it be?

Ans India

59. What is the most delightful word you can think of?

Ans Love

60. What is your least favourite beverage?

Ans Black coffee

61. What is the first thing you notice about the opposite sex?

Ans Eyes, fragrance, voice

62. If you were stranded on a tropical island what two things would you want with you?

Ans A lighter and a knife

63. What is the first thing you notice about someone when you first meet?

Ans Their body language towards me

64. If you were running for office what would your campaign slogan be?

Ans Live and let live

65. What was your favourite book growing up?

Ans Champak and Archie’s comics

66. What city in America should not be included on a map, why?

Ans Ohio, dunno, that’s what came to my mind.

67. What compliment do people give you the most?

Ans I have a way with words

68. What word would you add to the dictionary if you could, what would it mean? Ans Denje, which means hail or peace.

69. What product would you refuse to promote?

Ans Anything that promises instant success. Because success is never instant.

70. What is your favourite pet’s name?

Ans Peppers

71. Use one word to describe your computer ability?

Ans Superb

72. If your plane was about to crash, who would you want sitting next to you?

Ans A Lifesaver?

73. Which of the presidents was your favourite?

Ans John F Kennedy.

74. How long of a consecutive time have you spent in a car?

Ans 12 hours

75. What is your favourite Halloween costume?

Ans Countess Dracula

76. How can you tell if someone is a nerd?

Ans He would be a know-it-all like Google

77. If you could teach any grade or subject what would it be?

Ans It would be English Literature. Or it would be rhymes to kindergarten.

78. What fashion trend do you just not get?

Ans Punk or steampunk

79. If you were a wicked tyrant what country would you rule?

Ans U.S.A. Maybe. But they would like to overthrow me in a day. Hell. I can’t be a wicked tyrant man!

80. What is the lowest grade you have ever been given what class was it for?

Ans I guess I once got like 2.5 on 10. It was in history or civics probably.

81. If you could choose your nickname what would it be?

Ans Pumpkin maybe

82. What is your best feature?

Ans I think my eyes and just maybe my lips

83. If you could swim in any liquid what would it be and why?

Ans Cold coffee or any ice cream shake. Duh ! You can’t ask why that’s preposterous. Okay, it’s yummy.

84. What is the song you hear most often?

Ans Shape of You by Ed Sheeran

85. What have you done that you are most proud of?

Ans I helped the needy in whatever way I can. So I believe I can feel proud of that.

86. How many keys do you have on your key ring?

Ans I have numerous key rings but zero keys. But someday I would just add few random keys to it, you know it seems cool on the finger, on the waist, in the pocket.

87. What is your favourite song?

Ans The Titanic song ‘Every night in my dreams’

88. How old were you when you had the worst hair cut ever what style was it?

Ans 2, a boy cut

89. What advice did you get that was the most rewarding?

Ans Mind your own business, people are not your mirror image and advice must not be given until sought.

90. If you could change one thing about your looks what would it be?

Ans What? I am perfect. My nose 😞

91. What is your least favourite type of music?

Ans Hard rock, death metal

92. If you were a superhero what would your powers be?

Ans To teleport or/and to time travel

93. What fortune would you want to get from a fortune cookie?

Ans That everything will be fine at the end

94. What is one food you wouldn’t want to give up?

Ans Chinese food

95. If you won a million dollars what would you buy?

Ans A Yacht, maybe a treehouse too

96. If you had access to a time machine where and when would you go?

Ans In January 2011, save my father beforehand

97. If you could add a person to Mount Rushmore, who would it be, why?

Ans JFK for obvious reasons

98. If you could win any award what would it be, why?

Ans The Man a Booker Prize for one of my published fictions.

99. If you could teleport, where would you go, why?

Ans Right now….Hyderabad. Reasons knew only to him and me. Wait ! I didn’t say that.

100. What was your favourite cartoon show growing up?

Ans Tailspin, Duck Tales, Tom & Jerry

101. Morning, noon or night?

Ans Night, undoubtedly

102. How do you like your steak cooked?

Ans I am a vegetarian, but I guess I would like it slow roasted.

103. What was the last film you watched?

Ans Talwar, Irada, Her…these are few that left me thinking.

104. What’s your favourite place to watch TV?

Ans My bedroom

105. If you could live anywhere in the world, where would it be?

Ans New York

106. What did you eat for breakfast?

Ans I don’t eat breakfast, but I love buttered toast, an easy egg and cold coffee

107. What is your favourite cuisine?

Ans Chinese, Mughlai and Street Food

108. What foods do you dislike?

Ans Ummm, a couple of lentils, Gooseberry and Jujube

109. What is your dream car?

Ans Yellow Lamborghini

110. What are your favourite clothes?

Ans Saree, long skirts, Lehengas

111. Where would you visit, if you had the chance?

Ans I wish to see St Peters Basilica in Vatican

112. Weapon of choice?

Ans A Bow and Arrow

113. Where would you want to retire?

Ans Some hill station, Ooty, Kasauli, Darjeeling….nothing too chilly.

114. Gold or silver?

Ans In colours, Gold. In Jewels, Silver.

115. Where were you born?

Ans Delhi

116. What is your favourite sport to watch?

Ans Cricket

117. What is the last thing you liked on social media?

Ans Someone’s wedding pictures

118. Underwear?

Ans Of course yes

119. Hard or soft?

Ans Depends on the stuff….bed; soft, sex; hard, rock music; soft, and so on…

120. Do you have any pets?

Ans It’s like not a pet, but like visiting pets. A bitch

121. Are you a morning or a night person?

Ans You’re asking that a second time

122. Nickname?

Ans Guide

123. Sub or Dom?

Ans Lol, umm, maybe a switch

124. What is your best childhood memory?

Ans It’s with my father, each one with him is the best

125. Favourite colour?

Ans Blues, in all its hues

126. Are you single?

Ans Technically yes, spiritually no

127. What do you think of when I say, “fruit?”

Ans Apples and oranges

128. Do you always wear your seat belt?

Ans Never

129. Have you been in a car accident?

Ans Yeah, once. Luckily I wasn’t hurt

130. Any pet peeves?

Ans Can’t tolerate that scratchy sound of sand under shoes

131. Work out preferences?

Ans No preference, but wanna do meditation and yoga

132. Favourite flower?

Ans Pink Roses, Jasmine, Lotus, Tuberose and Night Blooming Jasmine. Tulips too. I can’t help it. I am a Flower Girl.

133. Last band or artist, you listened to?

Ans Qurratulain Balouch and Rahat Fateh Ali Khan

134. How did that particular song make you feel?

Ans Nostalgic and angst

135. Bed size?

Ans Queen

136. Do anything spontaneous lately?

Ans Yeah deleted someone’s else’s chat group on FB and Started working on a fictional book

137. Like your job?

Ans Yeah, always

138. The last person, you went to dinner with?

Ans A cousin

139. What are you currently learning?

Ans French language and vital life’s lessons

140. What do you think of people with tattoos?

Ans One or two tattoos are like WOW, full body tattoo is gross. I prefer soft tattoo to hard tattoos

141. Coffee?

Ans Yes please, with more milk and more sugar and more coffee

142. Has your world ever been rocked?

Ans A couple of times

143. Have you ever been in love?

Ans A couple of times 😊

144. What is a success?

Ans Work satisfaction is a success. Being happy with what you are doing is a success. Having people to love is a success. Being loved back is a success. Being able to hang out with family and friends is a success. Being happy with your body is a success. You can have all the money, fame and position in the world but you won’t feel successful without the things I mentioned. At least not in your own eyes.

145. What secret would you like to tell me?

Ans That this questionnaire is being answered honestly to boot. And that sometimes I skip the bath. Yeah, that’s it. No more secrets *gulps*

146. How do you define happiness?

Ans Being loved and accepted as you are happiness.

148. What is one item you could NEVER live without?

Ans My father’s phone number, it makes me feel safe.

149. Sunset?

Ans Better than Sunrise I guess. Time to get a little philosophical

150. Favourite place to hideout?

Ans In broom closet, in closets primarily

151. Leader or follower?

Ans When you are right, follower. When I am right, leader. Here right can also be replaced with fearless.

152. Last time you were emotional?

Ans Everyday, I am an emotionally inflammable person. I ignite with the smallest of sparks

153. What makes your smile?

Ans He makes me smile. Babies make me smile. Good food and silliness with friends make me smile. My father’s memories make me smile. Eating a fast melting ice cream makes me smile. When my mother smiles, that makes me smile.

154. Naked?

Ans Not right now, but yes, in the shower.

155. What makes you angry?

Ans Hypocrisy and diplomacy.

156. Sunrise?

Ans Not seen in years, though I am up at sunrise almost every day.

157. Chocolate or caramel?

Ans Caramel.

158. What impresses you?

Ans Voice, etiquettes, vocabulary, command over language, good healthy debates, strong opinions even if they are wrong. Impartiality and courage impress me. The strength to say the right thing in testing times impresses me. People who take the hint impress me and the ones who can comprehend more in fewer words impress me the most. The art to know when to speak and when to stay silent impresses me immensely.

159. Where were you two years ago?

Ans In deep despair and darkness, standing on the precipice of guilt and agony.

160. What makes you feel sad?

Ans Death, separation of any kind makes me sad.

161. Where will you be in three years?

Ans Don’t know, physically still here I hope but fruitful and prosperous in life.

162. Red or Blue?

Ans Red, it’s passionate

163. What annoys you?

Ans Cowards and martyrs annoy me. I know it sounds paradoxical.

164. What are you afraid of?

Ans I can’t tell. I believe saying it out loud jinxes it, and it might come true

165. What time did you go to bed last night?

Ans Go to bed at 11:30, as for sleeping it’s 07:58 and I are still up.

166. Who do you kiss last?

Ans, My mother

167. Wifi?

Ans Oh yes, the best one on the market. My internet is like an F1 car. Lol

168. Fast or slow?

Ans Fast and then slow and then fast again.

169. What time will you go to bed tonight?

Ans 11:30

170. Are you a dog or cat person?

Ans Cat person

171. Cold or hot?

Ans Cold, anytime

172. What is better: certificates or experience?

Ans Experience. Certificates might land you a job, but the experience will help you retain it.

173. Mother or father?

Ans Haha, so bad! Father.

174. Wet or dry?

Ans Dry, please.

175. The quality of life or quantity of life?

Ans A child might say quantity, but an aged person would say quality.

176. America?

Ans Should handover the superpower to the next candidate in line.

177. If you had to choose a perpetually cold or hot place to live, what would you choose?

Ans A tropical one, I kinda hate long winters.

178. Tell me how far away you live?

Ans From you? Ummmm, I am at your doorstep. Please open your door, or I might have to break it down.

179. Money?

Ans It’s always a plus to have it. It’s vital to livelihood but not to life. Living comfortably isn’t always living happily.

180. What is better: being organised or attention to details?

Ans Attention to details. Artists are always a bit haphazard. But clean up your mess every once a while.

181. Politics?

Ans Not my cup of tea. Though at times I wish India wasn’t a democratic country. It makes me feel we are not citizens but vote banks.

182. Last time you laughed very hard out loud?

Ans Last night on call with my friend. I asked him a question from this very questionnaire, and his reply had me ROFLOL

183. Two things you would change about yourself?

Ans My Empathy levels and my routine.

184. Your 20s?

Ans Some good some bad. But not roaring in any form.

185. Naver or Google?

Ans What’s Naver ???

186. When are you most productive?

Ans At night, around 4

187. What chore do you hate doing?

Ans Paying the bills and writing checks

188. What motivates you?

Ans My friend does. Books do. Real life heroes do.

189. Kpop or Hip-hop?

Ans Hip-Hop and….Tango

190. The last person, you touched?

Ans, My mother

191. Tell me a mistake you made in life?

Ans I remained too scared to dare. It’s a mistake for which I am still paying heavily

192. Sex?

Ans Are you asking me if I am straight or how many times a week I have it?

193. Apple?

Ans Show White, some fears stay with you forever. And yes, my iPad is Apple too

194. Your greatest achievement?

Ans I haven’t achieved it yet.

195. Stairs?

Ans Not the iron ones, they disturb me

196. Your greatest failure?

Ans I couldn’t make my father visit the doctor when there was still time.

197. Four things you would change about yourself?

Ans My eye colour. My teeth. My hair texture AAAA and…..my nails. Wait ! Did you mean physically right?

198. Who you love the most?

Ans My parents.

199. Getting old?

Ans Gracefully and with all senses and mobility intact.

200. Favourite memory?

Ans That one time when papa surprised me. He came back sooner from a long trip and came to pick me up at school. I ran to him like the wind the moment I saw him standing by the school gates, and he had his arms spread to scoop me up in them.

201. What is the first thing you think of in the morning?

Ans If he messaged me?

202. iPhone or Samsung?

Ans iPad and One plus three. I am all set

203. Would you rather work 8-hours standing or 10-hours sitting?

Ans 10-hrs are sitting. Don’t give that look okay; I wanna write a book!

204. Busan or Jeju?

Ans What are they? Ohhh ! The islands from Seoul. Why do I have to choose? Both work for me.

205. Canada?

Ans Firstly It’s Kaneda. Secondly a big NO

206. What age do you want to retire?

Ans At my diamond jubilee

207. What scares you?

Ans I am big time scared of Earthquakes

208. Snoring?

Ans Ask my mum. I guess very mildly

209. When was the last time you “took a rest?”

Ans Physically every day. Mentally, not in years

210. What is your last thought before going to bed?

Ans I wanna read more, I wanna write more.

211. Politics?

Ans Come on, it’s another question you asked twice. Ohk, I will take it if you make me the PM.

212. Nike or Adidas?

Ans ✔️✔️✔️

213. What do you think is Korea’s biggest threat?

Ans North or South?

214. Spring or Autumn?

Ans Spring in India. Autumn in the US

215. New York City?

Ans The big Apple. Not the same since 9/11

216. What does your office (or workspace) look like?

Ans It’s with a computer table, a laptop, a wifi, modem, two huge divans, a big flatscreen TV, some switches and sockets, charging wires and plugs, two tube lights and two halogen bulbs with one fan, my handmade paintings lining the walls, loads of curios and mugs and showpieces adorning a alcove in the wall, a table on wheels, a cordless phone, all my mother’s medicines, so many that she can run a mini chemist shop, a small trolley with oddball items like toothpicks, tissue paper stand, mint box, a split AC, my father’s framed photo, a oil on canvas, a Tanjore, two glass paintings, a colourful terracotta wind chime, my father’s study table that has paperwork and files stacked to the top, it’s upper shelves have some precious things from my childhood. My mums folding chair, a footmat for my dog to sit, two crushed marble paintings and one Jewel marble one, an enormous wooden trunk which is used as an ironing table on wheels which is loaded with clothes to be ironed on top while it has all winter blankets on the inside. And yes two landline phones hanging from the wall above the trolley. It’s my living room; I work from here.

217. Define racism?

Ans It’s about Race. A race that was evolved with time owing to our environmental and survival needs. It’s utter stupidity to set them as superior or inferior race based on their biological characteristics or cultures like the colour of skin. You wouldn’t know what blood you were given in that blood transfusion you got after that bike accident. It could belong to any race. But it will still save your life. Love has no colour and humanity has no race.

218. Favourite sound?

Ans Raindrops and my father’s footsteps. Flute too.

219. What time did you eat lunch?

Ans At 04:30

220. Black clothes?

Ans Oh yes, bring them on.

221. Last item you purchased?

Ans A mini fridge

222. What is illegal?

Ans It’s the exact opposite of legal 😂 Jokes apart, anything that law of your country doesn’t support is illegal. In Singapore, it’s illegal to keep chewing gum. In Ireland, a pregnant woman died because abortion was illegal, in Noway a couple is arrested for making their kid sleep with them and being fed by mothers hands. Spain has a nude beach, in India, it’s legal to give wife as a keepsake when in debt, in Dubai the law amputates the hand of a thief. I seriously don’t know what’s legal and illegal by law. What I know is what seems right and wrong to a well-balanced person who has a straight head on his shoulders and a heart in the right place.

223. Italy?

Ans Avanti!

224. What confuses you?

And Human Nature confuses me

225. Favourite song?

Ans It’s the third time I am asked this question. Well Ohk, let’s not be a spoiled sport. I will go with ‘Hips Don’t Lie’ by Shakira

226. You learn of a last-minute business trip, what do you do first?

Ans Make sure I gave my passport and credit cards with ID.

227. The last time you cried?

Ans Day before yesterday I was watching a movie called ‘Zakhm’. I cried to see the final scene. I cry ever time I see ‘Life is Beautiful’.

228. Milk?

Ans I am lactose intolerant. But I love Cold Coffee

229. Where do you go to think?

Ans There is a place called Eden’s. I go there.

230. Lace?

Ans Victoria’s Secret?

231. Samsung or LG?

Ans None

232. Broken cable?

Ans Get it fixed ASAP

233. War?

Ans I have better things to do

234. Toolbox?

Ans Fascinates me. Makes me want to grab that hammer and…….anyways, let’s move on.

235. Black or Grey?

Ans I hate Grey

236. Gangnam?

Ans It was so irritating

237. What makes you annoyed?

Ans Scroll up and read

238. Sunday night?

Ans Is most vexing as next day is Monday

239. China or Japan?

Ans Japan. I feel safe as it’s far away

240. What will you NEVER do?

Ans I will never abuse anybody Physically, Verbally, Emotionally, Financially, Sexually, Religiously, Psychologically, Racially and Professionally. I will never abuse Rights, Power, Women, Child, Trust, Rank, Authority, Nationality, Sexuality, Drugs, and Money.

241. Mercedes?

Ans YES YES YES

242. What would you do if you didn’t have to work tomorrow?

Ans Then I would watch movies back to back and read books

243. Who upset you last?

Ans A few family members

244. Kimchi?

Ans Never Tried Korean food, sorry

245. Without a look at a clock, what time is it?

Ans Somewhere between 9 to 10. Bingo. It’s 09:30 😁

246. California?

Ans If San Francisco then Yes. If Los Angeles then YES YES YES

247. Biggest strength?

Ans Being non-judgemental

248. When was the last time you were late for something?

Ans I am a person who is late for each and everything.

249. Largest strength?

Ans What’s the difference in largest and biggest? Invalid question. NA

250. What challenges you?

Ans Right now this questionnaire. My old self-challenges me o get better with each passing day.

I have your glasses. It feels like I have your eyes. I run my finger on its smooth glass, its frame, I wear it sometimes and try to see this world through your vision. It’s blurred. You had such high powered glasses. I ain’t that empowered. I can’t see this world through your wise and understanding eyes. That’s why my vision is blurred. I wish to be more like you, one day, some day. I gaze into those glasses, sit with them for hours. And suddenly, in between, I see your eyes gazing at me from behind them. They’re still the same. They are still kind and full of unconditional love for me. And they look at me with the same fondness.

I have your watch. It always sat on your wrist in your lifetime. I remember you falling asleep wearing them, I used to hold your hand and take it out softly, silently, not wanting to wake you up. You used to be so punctual. Liked to get things done on time. And Oh, how you hated the Late Lateefs. You know I am one too now. But you can never hate me. It’s kinda weird, I am so like you, but so unlike you. Sometimes I just pick your watch and tie it on my wrist. It feels like your hand is on mine. Like you have touched me with the same loving caress. I remember how you used to touch me, like I am a fragile thing. I remember your hands do well, soft, silky, a writers hand they were. I cringed every time you pierced your finger to check Sugar levels. What I would not give to hold them once again. You fed me when I was a lil girl, you fed me the day before you left.

I have your shoes. They have lost the shape of your feet now. But they are still your shoes. They got dusty and cobwebbed, I clean them, I avoid them too. I touch them sometimes, and I hug them and cry. I seek your blessings but they are with me all the time. Remember when your feet ached you asked me to sit on them, and then stand on them and then tell me to walk on them. I know they ached more because of diabetes. My toes are just like your toes. A bit crooked, the big toe longer than the thumb, haha. Mum used to get your pedicure done by force, but you enjoyed clipping nails. I wish I can fall at your feet and hold them, never letting go.

I got your perfume too. It’s lesser now, evaporated I guess. But that was the only accessory you loved to use everyday. I have taken after you in that field too. I have a huge perfume collection of my own, many are gifted by you, I use them sparingly. I added some new and exotic ones to my collection. But you know, sometimes I spray it in the air of my room, and I close my eyes. And in that moment you are in the room with me. I relive your moment of leaving for Chennai, the same perfume wafting in the air and you hugging me for a long minute, leaving with innumerable instructions to take care of me and mum, kissing me endlessly before parting. I feel that hug and those kisses in that perfume.

I have them all, your ties, your handkerchiefs, your shirts, your pen, your writing pad, your phone, your briefcase, your poems, your countless memories, I have them all Papa. But they, don’t make up for what you are to me. The void is still there, never to be filled again. A piece of my soul and my heart is gone with you. A piece of your soul and your heart lives in me. I cling to that part of me dearly. I miss you. I cried you a river. It didn’t lessen the pain. I still miss you soooo much. But I know that you aren’t far from me. You sit beside me as I write this. You watch me and your hand is on my head. Guess I have learned to live without your physical press. But every once in a while, my heart stirs, all reasons fade, all logic ends and all I want is you. A long talk with you as I sit hugging you with your arms around me, feeling safe, secure, loved, cherished, needed, pampered, spoiled, treasured, protected, guided, valued, admired, elevated, exhilarated, exalted and what not.

Piecing you together is a desperate attempt of a still grieving daughter. This grief and this regret of losing you will never leave me. But I have just one solace. That I loved you back with all my heart. And I still love you, and will continue to do so till I breath my very last. You’re immortal till I live. I won’t let you die. And so I live to keep you alive. They say tears are love, when it gets so much that it spills from the eyes. Then I am glad I am crying right now. You are the best father any girl could have asked for. I wish to have you for my father in all my lives. But once, just once I wanna be your mother and shower back all that love on you that you gave me.

Happy Father’s Day Papa. It feels so good to take your name. I love you. I miss you. I am okay.

PS : For those who read it, I had to control myself and stop, or I can write volumes about him. I request you to understand the emotion behind it and ignore its length.

Inside me lives a dark Creature
Never make a Devil your Teacher
He is such a persuasive Preacher
Profanity, Infidelity, Crime his Feature

Whispering softly into my Ear
Mumblings things all I can’t Bear
It Purrs, you got no one but me, Cheer
Feasting on me, feeding off my Fear

Crawling over me in the dead of the Night
It slithers into my heart, giving me such Fright
I grope in its embrace, writhing for a sliver of Light
Is there no mercy, why won’t it pity my Plight

My hands feel it’s cold skin, the fear of Unknown
The chills seeps into me, right down to my very Bone
No fire burns high to save me; I shiver all Alone
Silent ghosts surround me, turning me into their Own

My blood has turned blue; I sleep into the demon’s Lap
I haven’t slept in ages; I hope this one will be my longest Nap
How long could I escape it, it was the perfect Trap
A feather falls at his feet, the dead angel’s last Scrap